The Gay Space Army

Wednesday, June 14th, 2017 12:40 pm
bairnsidhe: (Default)
[personal profile] bairnsidhe
 

“That’s gay,” a voice accused over the group’s voice chat.  The tone was snide and insulting.  Charlie pulled a hissing breath between his lips, hoping it could be one isolated incident, a micro-aggression that could be endured, and not the first flake of a snowballing avalanche of hate.

“Damn right it is, son,” replied Sarge and Charlie hunched his shoulders in his computer chair.  Sarge was called Sarge because he was a Marine, old and battle scarred and using the internet since it was a military intranet that DARPA was considering letting the public have a version of.  “Gayest shit ever, and I should know, since it takes one to know one.”

The line echoed with shock from everyone in the pre-fight room.  “Sarge, you… you’re gay?” Charlie asked.

“Yes I am and I did not lose a damn leg to be told that’s wrong by some young fool on the net.”

“But… you were in the military!  The only reason I went DARPA instead of joining up was because I was afraid what they’d do to me when they found out!”

“Probably what Oscar and Delta teams did to me,” Sarge said.  “Ask why that was relevant and buy a shit load of lady-boy pin-up mags to find a better model for my unit’s tattoo, since a sexy woman tattooed on a gay man don’t make much sense.”

“Eh, you’re lucky Sarge,” Micro sighed.  “I came out to my squad and they requested a transfer for me.  I didn’t much care since when the Brass found out why they dumped me in with the ladies and those gals could party.”

“You were military, too, Micro?” Saph asked, her tone happy and light.  “I didn’t know that.”

“Navy, Saph, not as macho as the Marines.  I wasn’t even a SEAL, so it’s not like I carry that with me.”

“So, wait a second,” Devorak said.  “Sarge, Micro, and Charlie are gay, Sarge, Micro and Saph were military, and I’m a lesbian defence contractor.  Except for the newbie, we’re the Gay Army up in here.”

“Oi, I’m a fan of Taco Tuesday myself here, love,” Saph protested as the team laughed and Charlie watched the username of the new player wink out, resetting their wait time.  Somehow, he thought nobody would care, they were having too much fun modding their avatar’s armor to design a uniform for the Gay Space Army Guild that Devorak suggested.


//////////^^^\\\\\\\\\\^^^//////////^^^\\\\\\\\\\

The lovely and perceptive Pizilden over on Habitica has composed a march for the Gay Space Army, complete with voice re-enactment of the fateful discovery of Sarge's orientation.

Date: 2017-06-24 01:38 pm (UTC)
technoshaman: Tux (Default)
From: [personal profile] technoshaman
I will be happy to provide cover fire for this lot!

Date: 2017-06-25 04:24 am (UTC)
technoshaman: Tux (Default)
From: [personal profile] technoshaman
Aye aye, keptin!

Oh, and I'll see yer march call, and raise you a 20th century American musical setting of a 19th century British re-imagining of a TWO-THOUSAND-YEAR-OLD jody call: Ladles and jellyspoons, Leslie Fish's kipple of "Rimini"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6gYvS8L0nDY

Lyrics

I have it on authority I trust intimately that this has been sung, *in the 20th Century*, on Roman roads, on a hike, with packs... :D

Date: 2017-06-25 09:57 pm (UTC)
technoshaman: Tux (Default)
From: [personal profile] technoshaman
Pretty much!

I have not heard of nerds going on Roman roads *with shields*... but with packs? yes. They're pretty much only good for walking anymore; 2000 years of neglect will render even the stoutest Roman road unsuitable for HGV's...

Oh, right. Despite being born American, I'm a reasonably hardcore Anglophile, and after I saw what Noah Webster had done to linguistics' bad-rep sex worker through no fault of her own, I decided to revert to proper, honourable English for the most part. (What's bemusingly frustrating is the swearing... English diction, American rhotism... "bugger" instead of "buggah"... :)

Though I have become a recent fan of the Scottish variety of invective... the tricky bit is keeping the sexism out of it...

Wow!

Date: 2017-06-24 04:59 pm (UTC)
ysabetwordsmith: Cartoon of me in Wordsmith persona (Default)
From: [personal profile] ysabetwordsmith
>>“Damn right it is, son,” replied Sarge and Charlie hunched his shoulders in his computer chair. Sarge was called Sarge because he was a Marine, old and battle scarred and using the internet since it was a military intranet that DARPA was considering letting the public have a version of. “Gayest shit ever, and I should know, since it takes one to know one.”<<

ROTFLMAO!!! The world needs more of this. It's something I've always done, stapling things together with bardic gift, and it drives people nuts: "If X-trait is doing Y-activity, then Y-activity is X-trait." Since bigots rarely have bardic ability, it's really hard for them to get those staples out.

By the way, meet Hefty. He's a cop, built like a tank, gay as a goose and his favorite color is pink. :D

“But… you were in the military! The only reason I went DARPA instead of joining up was because I was afraid what they’d do to me when they found out!”

>>“Probably what Oscar and Delta teams did to me,” Sarge said. “Ask why that was relevant and buy a shit load of lady-boy pin-up mags to find a better model for my unit’s tattoo, since a sexy woman tattooed on a gay man don’t make much sense.”<<

BOOYAH! \o/

>>“So, wait a second,” Devorak said. “Sarge, Micro, and Charlie are gay, Sarge, Micro and Saph were military, and I’m a lesbian defence contractor. Except for the newbie, we’re the Gay Army up in here.”<<

And this is why real representation matters, not just tokenism -- there need to be enough people that they can support each other and hang out, instead of being isolated.

>> “Oi, I’m a fan of Taco Tuesday myself here, love,” Saph protested as the team laughed and Charlie watched the username of the new player wink out, resetting their wait time. Somehow, he thought nobody would care, they were having too much fun modding their avatar’s armor to design a uniform for the Gay Space Army Guild that Devorak suggested.<<

*laugh* Now I'm reminded of what happens in my blog when a troll wanders through. It's only happened a few times, but they find it very inhospitable territory, and either they leave or I boot them.

By the way, some of my fans are going nuts over your work after I linked Super-Queers. I hope you're okay with the extra traffic.

Re: Wow!

Date: 2017-06-24 10:34 pm (UTC)
ysabetwordsmith: Cartoon of me in Wordsmith persona (Default)
From: [personal profile] ysabetwordsmith
>> I know, and it's darn funny to watch them try. My favorite was let them eat some cookies, look them in the eye and say "those were made by my uncles. Man-hands mixed those chocolate chips in." The sudden clench of no-homo was hilarious. <<

ROTFL that is so funny. :D

I am now tempted to do this with Hefty, because his husband Roger is a cook. They are totally the kind of guys who would do that to some jackass. *ponder* Police picnic bake sale, bigot with a mouth full of cookie ... LOL yes.

>> I'm aware of Hefty, I adore Terramagne. Hefty is one of my favorites,<<

Yay! Feel free to ask for more at any relevant prompt call -- and July 4th will have a gender theme. \o/

I can't always tell who's reading my stuff, except for frequent commenters, but I'm glad you're enjoying it.

>> although I do admit a soft spot for Lawrence once he got things straightened out (lol, irony) with Stan. I want to smoosh their faces.<<

I'm so happy to hear that. I wanted to show a healthy alternative to Smallville and "All these years wasted fighting each other, Charles." :'( This is what you get when the supervillain in love with the superhero actually HAS a copy of The Joy of Gay Sex.

>>Exactly. In addition to that, this is a space-themed video game chat room. Which is not where you'd peg a bunch of us queers to hang out, but we do. It's less reductionist, at least to my eye, if they're all hanging out doing something that's NOT on the list of socially approved Gay Things (TM).<<

I love mixing motifs like that, and doing the unexpected.

>>Neither of us provides what I'd call a 'bigot friendly environment' and that's a good thing.<<

Go team!

>> Something similar happened over on Ao3 when someone dropped an anti-adoption comment<<

>_< What a douche. I'm adopted, and very happy with my family, who handled it brilliantly.

Thor's horseshit line in The Avengers is exactly why Loki doesn't really rely on him as a brother. Because Thor doesn't fucking act like it. Granted, that is mostly due to Odin's A+ parenting, but Thor makes it worse.

>> and my readers summarily hijacked the comment thread with stories of their own choice-kin and summer plans for kidlets and such. I was so proud.<<

That is awesome. Way to handle jerks.

>> I noticed, and I am more than okay with it. This feels like getting to sit at the cool kid's table. <<

The difference between nerds and popular kids is that we like inviting new people to the cool table. :D

>> My life-mate is with me and he looked at my face as I was checking the emails and was like "something very good is happening online, you just got ten times cuter." Apparently I get anime-chibi-eyes when people like my work. Thank you so much for linking to me!<<

Yay! I'm happy to share good reads with my friends.

Re: Wow!

Date: 2017-06-25 04:30 am (UTC)
technoshaman: Tux (Default)
From: [personal profile] technoshaman
Police picnic bake sale, bigot with a mouth full of cookie ... LOL yes.

YES PLEASE...

Re: Wow!

Date: 2017-06-25 04:47 am (UTC)
ysabetwordsmith: Cartoon of me in Wordsmith persona (Default)
From: [personal profile] ysabetwordsmith
By all means, save this scene and/or link to it. The July 4 fishbowl will have a gender theme so that's a bullseye. :D

Also, Roger informs me that he's baking chocolate chip fudge cookies. LOL

Re: Wow!

Date: 2017-06-25 04:39 am (UTC)
technoshaman: (cascadia)
From: [personal profile] technoshaman
The difference between nerds and popular kids is that we like inviting new people to the cool table. :D

... and sometimes we get a little mystified to find *ourselves* at the cool table..

... until a musical bard of quite some note explained it to me this way: "You show up, you treat people like PEOPLE instead of going all fanboy on them, and you're helpful."

Well, YEAH, it's what I do. People are *people*, colour, gender, orientation, religion, race, or *planet* (Tim the Tentacle Monster) be damned... and I like helping my bardic folk because I get more (story, verses, music), and since music *is* religion for me... yeah.

*wonders* is there a religion where poking bigots in the eye is a sacrement?

Re: Wow!

Date: 2017-06-25 06:18 pm (UTC)
ysabetwordsmith: Cartoon of me in Wordsmith persona (Default)
From: [personal profile] ysabetwordsmith
>> ... and sometimes we get a little mystified to find *ourselves* at the cool table.. <<

I know that feel.

>> ... until a musical bard of quite some note explained it to me this way: "You show up, you treat people like PEOPLE instead of going all fanboy on them, and you're helpful." <<

*laugh* That is almost word for word the explanation I got, back in my fangirl days, when I asked why professional writers kept picking me out of a crowd of several hundred people.

>> Well, YEAH, it's what I do. People are *people*, colour, gender, orientation, religion, race, or *planet* (Tim the Tentacle Monster) be damned... and I like helping my bardic folk because I get more (story, verses, music), and since music *is* religion for me... yeah. <<

Yep. I figured out that talking about the just-released book isn't all that exciting because it's been talked to death. But writers are writers. If you get them rambling about any random topic, sooner or later they will start chattering about their current project that hasn't been released yet. :D

>> *wonders* is there a religion where poking bigots in the eye is a sacrement? <<

*Eris jumps up and down, waving her arms* "Me, me!"

Remember her punking the popular girls with an apple inscribed "Kallisti" ...? Yeah. Nailed it.

Re: Wow!

Date: 2017-06-25 04:28 am (UTC)
technoshaman: (warm_puppy)
From: [personal profile] technoshaman
"something very good is happening online, you just got ten times cuter." Apparently I get anime-chibi-eyes when people like my work.

AWWWW! Glad to have contributed to the smiles!

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