Thoughts

Date: 2017-06-24 06:49 am (UTC)
ysabetwordsmith: Cartoon of me in Wordsmith persona (Default)
When you set up a consistent pattern and then break it, that can throw readers off balance. In a poem about Pan, a certain amount of chaos may be needed, but you've got those regular quatrains alternating with single lines for so long that the switch toward the end is jarring. I suggest either keeping it consistent throughout, or adding enough variation earlier that the later change isn't standing alone.
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